How Will You Change The World?

You have to watch the short video below! This video was shot during our second trip to Ethiopia. Sam (video guy) and Dawit (IT guy) would come to our guest house for dinner every night all sweaty with video equipment slung over their shoulders. Adam and Sam would discuss video stuff nonstop. After dinner, we would bug Dawit to get the internet working, and once we even bribed him with sweet treats if he would bring a modem over to our guest house from another house. The people in this video may live across the world, but they are our friends.

The video is about Korah and Addis Ababa. It is such a joy to see these faces again. Summer is the woman who showed us around Korah, and I couldn't help but smile as I recognized children from our trip there. I couldn't help but touch my neck as I saw the women making necklaces that I purchased from there. Adam and our Tennessee friend, Brian, have been itching to go back to Korah and help in some way.

This is a great video, you just have to watch it. As I watch it (for the 10th time), I feel it. I see it, feel it, smell it. It puts me right back in Ethiopia. I have to quote my friend Hollie because she says it perfectly: "Thanks Sam for creating such a fantastic video..a wonderful representation of the beautiful people of Ethiopia and the powerful ministries stirring the souls and giving hope to all they meet."

The City of Addis - A short documentary from Session 7 Media on Vimeo.

One happy mother

Disclaimer: It is almost 1 a.m. and I can't sleep. Adam is camping out with the boys on the trampoline, and I am lying awake with so many mommy thoughts running through my head. I decided I wanted to write this stuff down because it is important that I never, ever forget it.

I have a lot of anxiety and always wonder about the "what ifs". I remember sitting on the couch at the Arizona Fertility Center with Dr. Nemiro in 2004. He was telling me that the procedures we had done were not working. My ovaries were not responding to the high dose of fertility drugs or AI. He was proposing I undergo ZIFT. This is where I have 2 surgeries within 24 hours and the embryos are implanted directly into my fallopian tubes. In addition, he was talking about some bad results from blood tests; bad things from my uterus scan; steroids; and 2-3 shots per day for 8 weeks. He was very matter of fact and he told me what would happen, the costs, and the statistics. Most people would have a lot of questions. My one and only question was "What do we do if this doesn't work?" He wouldn't answer me. I was scared. I was scared throughout my pregnancy always wondering "what if" something happens. I had already gotten adoption paperwork because I had told Adam that if something happened during my pregnancy, I wouldn't try again. Everything was done with caution. I gave birth to my two little boys 8 weeks premature but yet I couldn't see them for hours. They weren't breathing when they were born, but I just laid there as they intubated them -- not being able to focus on anything. They tried to wheel my bed into the NICU but I still couldn't see them because the isolettes were too high. In fact, the first time I saw my boys was in a picture on our blog. In that moment, I fell in love immediately. When I saw their pictures I was just overwhelmed with emotion and how much love I had for these two boys. They were my boys.

The first pictures I saw of Calvin & Wes (respectively)

Allie's story isn't much different. Throughout our adoption process, I always had the "what if" playing over and over in the back of my mind. I said things like "Oh we will definitely pass court eventually even if it isn't on the first time" . . . but inside, I'm worried. I remember riding in the van on the way to court and the "what ifs" were going through my mind. What if her grandfather doesn't show up? I got this sense of determination come over me as I thought "That can't happen! This little girl is my daughter! She is mine! That just can't happen! She is mine!" I realized that was the first time that I could no longer think of "what if" because there was no "what if" -- I would fight and fight for my daughter. Before passing court, she was already my daughter. In that van ride, I knew that I had fallen in love with her.

The next day it was time to say goodbye to Alemitu. I knew it would be hard. I knew I couldn't prepare for it. I still wasn't prepared for how hard it would be. When it was time, I gave her back to the nannies and I tried to wave bye and explain to them that I wasn't coming back. The nannies didn't speak English, but they understood when they saw my eyes well up with tears. I just quickly handed her over, waved goodbye, and turned around and walked away. I walked to the balcony where Adam was standing and he went to give me a hug. I said, "Please do not touch me. I will fall apart." He understood and we left the transition home quickly as all I could think about was just putting one foot in front of the other and not falling down on the ground with tears. She was my daughter.


Those are tough memories that I never want to forget, but they are such happy memories as I know distinctly when I fell in love with my children.

My kids make it easy for me to be a good mom. They are just really, really good kids. We laugh every single day. Do I mess up? Oh yeah. But I make it known to them that I am not perfect, and I quickly apologize if I've done something wrong. As they grow older I know it will get harder, but I'm ready for the challenges that will arise. They are my kids. I love them. I will fight for them.

So this year, I've chosen to do nothing out of the ordinary for a regular Sunday in our house. As cliche as it sounds, I feel blessed every single day of the year with great kids and a great husband.

So many people talk about how special this Mother's Day will be for me now that I have my daughter at home. It is. But this Mother's Day -- and future Mother's Day, it will be a day for me to not only celebrate my love for my own mother and my children, but to also celebrate Alemitu's birth mother. I was so very sad when I had to leave Alemitu at the transition home and walk away. But I knew I was coming back. I knew she was mine. Allie's mother had to say goodbye to her child knowing she would never see her again. There were so many uncertainties. Alemitu's mother needs to be celebrated for bringing such a beautiful little girl into this world and into our lives. I pray for Alemitu's mother all of the time. Sometimes I wonder if she crumbled to the ground in tears when she walked away. I cannot imagine her pain. But I can give thanks to her for her sacrifice. I can pray for her healing.

Today, this Mother's Day, will be a great day. But they all are.

Friends

We've had a busy weekend with our friends. On Saturday we went to 3 different birthday party. The first was for Wes' good friend, Denali. Denali lives in our neighborhood and this was the first party that I left the boys at without Adam nor I present. I stayed about 25 minutes and realized that they were going to be just fine without me. Wes thought it was so cool that he was going to hang out with his friends without mom around. I came back to the house empty handed to a very surprised husband -- who was staying at home to take care of Allie during the party. When I explained that they were at the party by themselves he said, "Okay, I think we just need to sit on the couch and process this one for a minute." Our boys are growing up. That makes me sad and happy at the same time. I went back to the party an hour later to find Calvin jumping on the trampoline with a dinosaur mask on his face and a hook on his hand scaring everyone. Wes was running through the house with some kids playing battle something or other with swords. They had a really good time.

Calvin & Wes at Denali's Party

The next stop was Hayden's party (Calvin's friend). We only stayed for a short while but the boys were able to make their own pizzas. They tasted pretty good too.

Preparing pizzas at Hayden's party

Our last party was for Ella (Alemitu's friend). Ella is turning 1 next week. Her parents have been some of our best friends since we first moved to Arizona 9 years ago. We always love spending time with them, and the boys enjoy playing with their son Jack who is 2 years younger than Wes and Calvin. At this party we caught up with quite a few of our other friends while the kids watched Toy Story 3 on a huge screen in Ella's backyard.

Watching the backyard movie

It was a great day. Today continued to be a lot of fun. We opened up our pool for the summer and the boys did a little swimming (73 degrees -- brrrrrr). This evening we went to the airport to greet our friends Jason and Paige who were bringing their daughter home from Ethiopia. We were so excited to go to the airport and meet Sophie. Paige and I were already planning playdates.



As for Adam, this fun weekend just wasn't long enough for him because on the way to the airport he asked if we could extend it longer. He asked if the boys could skip school tomorrow so we could have another family day and go to a mid-day movie. You don't have to ask me twice! We left it up to the boys (because they are normally disappointed when they can't go to school), and for the first time they were super excited about skipping it. Right now they are watching a movie and having a slumber party in our room. This has been a great weekend!

Happy Easter!

I distinctly remember in early February sitting next to Adam's mom at church. Our pastor was making this huge announcement that will change our church completely (merging with another) which will take place in 10 weeks -- which just happens to be 2 weeks before Easter. I'm sure most people were thinking about the merge (some were crying, some were cheerful, most were scared), but instead of feeling those things, I leaned over to Sherree and said "Ya know, Allie will be here for Easter." Sherree participated in the inappropriate, sidetracked conversation by talking about Allie's pretty Easter dress and shoes and hat. I had just gotten back from Ethiopia for the first trip and my mind's only thought for day in and day out was "Alemitu. Alemitu. Alemitu." And to be fair, I was aware of the big announcement before it was made to the church that day so I already had time to process the news of change. But I remember that moment in time vividly as I dreamed of having our family together at the next big holiday.

And now it is Easter and we have had Alemitu home for 7 weeks!!

Today the kids woke up to new baskets from the Easter Bunny. Right now Wes and Calvin are all about vampires, ghost, aliens, and "bad guys" (thanks to Scooby Doo). They keep asking us "are vampires in our world" or "are ghosts really real?" Unfortunately a few weeks ago when Calvin asked me if bad guys were real, I said no. I had to go back the next day and apologize for lying and tell him the truth and discuss how bad guys are in our world; however God, the police, and mommy and daddy won't let the bad guys get him. With all of this "are they real" talk, I knew that a very important question would be coming . . . is the Easter Bunny real? Adam and I came up with this answer "Well, you get baskets from the Easter Bunny don't you? I've never seen him but you get baskets from him." That seemed to work and they were happy. Whew.

After seeing what was in their baskets (slippers, coloring books, and new DVDs for boys; keys and cups for Allie) we headed off to a new church we have been attending. Until the kids' rooms are finished at the church (next week), kids have church with their parents. It was really nice to have church with our 2 boys next to us at our table and Allie asleep in my arms. Jim and Sherree also came to church with us this morning. All the way to/from church, the boys watched one of their new DVDs -- The Real Ghostbusters cartoon. Or as Wes calls it "Ghost Brothers". :-)

After church, we headed to the green park with the Fischers for a pulled pork barbeque lunch and an easter egg hunt. What fun! We were so exhausted from eating too much and playing too hard that by the time we got home we all took a 2 1/2 hour nap!

Today was a great day!

Check out Wes's crack in this pictures -- too cute!

Doesn't everybody water the spring flowers on Easter?

This pictures makes me sad. He looks so grown-up. :-(

She finally has a granddaughter!

This is the face that Adam's Grandma Jones has just been dying to meet. She has wanted a granddaughter for so long! Her kids all had boys and now her grandkids are all having boys too. Every time one of us gets pregnant, we get a pink dress. It never gets used. Grandma Jones even has a license plate that reads something along the lines of "Grandma's scorecard. Boys - 10. Girls - 0" So you can only imagine how excited she was to finally get to meet her great granddaughter, Alemitu. Here are some pictures from their first meeting:

Grandpa Jones was also taken with her:

Adam's Aunt Debbie also came to visit:

We had a great weekend visiting with them. My mom was also in town for a few days. We spent the weekend going to a t-ball game, having a cookout, going to the zoo, having a picnic at WestGate, and get stuck in the golf cart along Litchfield Road and having to be towed home.

Yep, we were towed home. It is a memory I never want to forget. We drove a few miles to the boys' t-ball practice. The golf cart didn't have a full charge when we started and we were wondering if we would make it back. Sure enough, along the golf cart path/sidewalk on Litchfield Road we came to a stop. We were able to push it a little and get it going again. All four of us hopped back on and got in place. We drove a few more feet and the golf cart dramatically slows again. I asked Adam if I need to get off and he says "yes". I am holding Allie in a carrier on me. After a few seconds, I realize that Adam wants me off the golf cart but he has no intention of stopping to let me off. So I put my foot on the ground a few times and then I hop out. A few more feet and the golf cart stops completely. The boys hop out and we call Jim to come tow us in Adam's truck. Adam gets back into the golf cart and it starts working with just him in it. Keep in mind that the golf cart path is on the side of a very busy road. Adam takes off in the golf cart -- the boys start wildly chasing after him -- and I'm walking in the back carrying a baby. It must have been quite a funny sight for anyone passing by wondering why this guy is making his kids, baby, and wife all run/walk behind him as he just drives along. I had tears coming down my face but it was from laughing so hard. I never, ever want to forget that image and I wish I had a camera! We did end up getting towed, but Adam was determined to try the trek again the next day for their t-ball game. We made it there and back without issue! Good times!

Even though I don't have pictures of our golf cart break down, I do have a couple from the zoo and a t-ball picture of the boys with their Coach Grandpa.

On the log ride

On the sky ride

Our new ride

Most days the boys and I ride our bikes to school. Sometimes we ride scooters. Sometimes we walk. Sometimes I drive. And now -- we can add a golf cart to the list. That's right. We just purchased a 1973 street legal golf cart for $300, and it runs great.

Golf carts are common in Arizona with the elderly. You can register them with the DMV and drive them on the roads (with speed limits less than 35 mph). Trying to drive down Bell Road in Surprise/Sun City area can just be downright frustrating as you are having to drive 20 mph behind an old golf cart driver out to get his groceries.

While I've wanted a golf cart since a very young age (and even started saving money for it with my best friend, Tara), Adam took an interest in them a few years ago. At that time we lived in a neighborhood where you pretty much had to own a custom built, lifted golf cart to reside there. We even saw a "stretched limo" style golf cart there. We were probably the only house that didn't have one, along with the only house that did our own yard work; the only house that didn't have a statue of lions out in the front; and the only house without his/her matching Hummers and Cadillac Escalades (okay I might have exaggerated a bit, but one of the houses did have a pair of his/her matching Hummers & matching Escalades!).


Adam didn't want a fancy golf cart, he just wanted a simple, electric golf cart that he could build with his kids and take on rides to my sister's house (1 mile away) going through neighborhoods to get there. So for the past few years he has been watching the prices on Craig's List and he just found one for a steal! It wasn't working because it needed a new $60 rechargeable battery (it has 6). But we had decided that even if that didn't cause it to start working, it was still a great buy for that cheap and Adam and the boys could work on it together. The good news is that we bought a new battery and that really was all it took to fix the golf cart.

So we are now proud owners of a golf cart and we could move back into our old neighborhood with our heads held high if we wanted . . . or maybe not! We could even join their annual Christmas parade where everyone drives their golf carts around the neighborhood with Santa following in the truck.

The boys love the golf cart and even drove it a little today (with daddy's help). One thing is for sure, Litchfield Park just got a little bit more dangerous. Watch out!

Family Photo

We have been home for over a month and we finally got a picture taken with all five us of in it! Thank you Zach!

We've had another good week. Yesterday was my 31st birthday. I'm officially "in my thirties". My life is far from what I had imagined for myself when I was 20, but I love it! It is actually better than I had imagined it! One thing I swore I would never, ever, ever have is 3 children. Never. And now I am the happy, proud mommy of 3 kids. We all have things about ourselves that we wish we could do better or personality traits that we battle on correcting every day -- but I can easily say that being a mom is what I do best! My kids make it easy for me. They make me laugh and smile everyday. So this year, I just wanted to spend a quiet birthday at our favorite place -- the "green" park (boys named it because it has green slides).

So last night Adam drove 30 minutes to get my favorite food from Chino Bandido (Chinese/Mexican dive). Then we packed up our dinner (in my new cooler I got for my birthday from Jim & Sherree) and the kids and headed to the green park where we met my sister, brother-in-law, and niece. We do this about once a week but it is my favorite thing to do. The green park is a really nice park with a large playground, several picnic tables, and a huge grassy area. It is surrounded by HUGE homes that haven't been finished because the housing market went upside down -- so we always have this beautiful, secret park to ourselves, and it is about 1-2 miles from our house! We had a nice dinner and then ended the night playing tag with the boys on the playground. I am so blessed!

Speaking of tag, I am baffled about something. I run on the treadmill several times a week. I stink at running. I hate it, but I always thought it was mental. When we taught the boys how to ride bikes, Adam said that he noticed I don't take long strides and maybe that's my problem. I tried and failed miserably. Don't get me wrong, I realize that I'm overweight and not in the greatest shape. BUT, I really do run on the treadmill several times a week and have done this for years. In addition, my legs are twice as long as Wes' legs. He's five. The problem: I can't beat my 5 year old in a foot race. I run as fast as I can and I can't do it. My parents can do it. My dad even turned around at one point to see where Wes was, but I run straight ahead and I can't beat the kid! Wes thinks it is hilarious and loves to try to race me. He's "slightly" competitive. Ha!

As for Calvin, that kid is just funny. We got report cards a couple of weeks ago and his teacher just wrote beautiful things about him being a role model for the class, etc. Calvin is really independent and just does his own thing. He loves to dress himself and add accessories to his outfits. The other day he picked out his Mario hat and a pair of fake glasses. I just had to take his picture when we got to school. A few weeks ago it was a Buzz Lightyear huge space rain jacket thing that he wore to school in 80 degree weather. He loves dressing up!


And I can't leave out Ms. Allie -- she pulled herself up today!! Her leg strength has improved SO much and she has been trying so hard to pull herself up on anything and everything. Today she pulled herself up on me so fast that I didn't even catch what had happened until about a minute later when I realized that I didn't stand her up. She did it again for Adam to see. Yay!!!

This week Adam's grandparents are coming into town and my mom is also visiting for a few days on an extended layover on her way back from Thailand. We are excited for everyone to visit!