Wednesday, April 28, 2010

What does "I love you" mean?

A few weeks ago, the boys were having trouble listening to instruction on the first time it was given. This happens once or twice a year, and when it does, we know we have to become a little more strict with using "time-out" for a few days, and then the problem goes away.

As we were getting ready for bed, and they weren't listening, I said, "Hey boys, you need to listen to mommy the first time. You aren't listening right now, and that makes me sad. If you don't listen the first time, then I'm going to have to put you in time-out and you won't be able to play Mario." That got their attention. In the evenings after dinner, they LOVE playing the Wii. They look forward to it throughout the day. Forbidding Mario is much worse than time-out, and we had never threatened it before.

Adam came into their room a few minutes later to read them a bedtime story. When he was done (and I was out of the room), Calvin asked Adam what it meant for someone to say "I love you". To the boys right now, when they say "I like you" it means so much more to them than "I love you." So Adam said to Calvin, "You know how you say that you like something? Well, I love you means that you really, really, really like it." Calvin then responded and said, "But if you say that you love someone doesn't that mean that you let them do whatever they want?" Adam saw where this was going. He then explained to Calvin that because we love him sometimes we have to set rules for him and tell him not to do something. It doesn't mean that he can do whatever he wants.

I think he understood, but wow, such an inquisitive little guy.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Jenna Ate A Baby!!

So if you haven't heard yet -- my sister Jenna is pregnant with her first child!!!! We are so happy for her and Zach! However, Wes is a little confused about the entire situation.

In the car the other night, I turned around and said, "Hey boys, guess what? Jenna and Zach are going to have a little baby soon!" No response from Calvin. Wes said, "Hey mom, we are by the old house!" Okay, I guess they didn't care too much.

So I tried again after we passed the old house. I said, "Boys, I'm being serious. Jenna and Zach are going to have a baby!" Nothing. So I thought I'd take a little leap and said, "The baby is really tiny, and it is growing in Jenna's belly right now." Wes and Cal have never noticed a pregnant woman, so I figured this might come as a shock. Wes said, "How did Jenna eat a baby?" I explained that she didn't eat a baby, but that God put the baby in her belly. He scoffed at me and laughed. Obviously I must be joking. So I said, "There really is a baby in Jenna's belly!" Another laugh.

Finally, I tried this angle -- I told him that he was in my belly a long time ago. Another laugh, and then laughing hard he said, "I wasn't in your belly! I was in daddy's belly!" Adam said, "No, you weren't in my belly!" Wes said, "Yes I was -- I was eating toys in there!" So now I've realized that there is no way that Wes believes me that a baby can be in a belly, and he thinks I am teasing him. However, he did follow it up and say, "Hey mom, I don't remember being in your belly." I promised to show him pictures (like the one above). We'll see how that goes.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Tired of Being Comfortable

This post is difficult to write simply because it is difficult to explain the changes and emotions we have felt the past two weeks. I guess the easiest way to sum it up is to say that we are looking at our lives completely different. If I had to sum up the past 3 years, I would say that we were "comfortable". We have had some struggles and failures, but overall it is easy to say that the past 3 years have been good years. However, I don't think we were "moving forward" so to speak. We were kind of stuck just being comfortable.

Deciding to do foster care was the first thing that we've done in a while that doesn't really make sense to us, but we know we need to follow our hearts. And wow, every aspect of our lives have been touched since. It is easy to say that we have grown spiritually over the past several weeks. More than that though, we have grown as individuals and a family.

Separately, Adam and I have both had some strong realizations the past two weeks that were very similar. Adam realized that he was not carrying out some of his dreams because he felt they were not realistic; too much work and no time; or he was afraid of the dream in some aspect. This is not someone who he wants to be, but it someone who he has become -- comfortable.

As for me, I was thinking about some of my "wishes", and I realized for the first time in my life that we only have this one life on earth to live. I am terribly afraid of death of myself and my loved ones. It is my biggest fear and causes me great anxiety. However, never have I thought about how this is the only life on earth that I will live -- I won't get a chance to be in my 20s again. I keep saying stuff like "one day, I'd love to . . . " or "I always wish I had . . ." In the past, I've never been too devastated by these statements because I feel like "it will happen one day". However, as each day passes, and I'm not trying to attain my goals, I'm losing opportunities and not following my dreams. I was comfortable.

We live great lives. We are so lucky and so blessed, and I can honestly say I love my life! But there is a reason that we dream! There have been some dreams we have attained that I never thought were possible. We've been in a rut the past few years, and this is just simply a fresh start again. We are making our good lives even better.

Again this is really hard to explain these feelings without sounding too cliche', but we both have been feeling them very strongly -- and separately. Our lives are changing. We have goals and dreams for our personal life that we now have plans on accomplishing. Those plans may change along the way, and we are open to that -- but we need to keep moving forward. We need to try to attain our dreams! We have business goals that we always want to happen, but some seem too daunting or too large -- but now, we are making plans. We are moving forward. We have curiosities that we don't pursue because we are too scared. Not anymore.

While some of these dreams are private, most of them are not. We would like to share one with you tonight. For different personal reasons, we have agreed to mark "no" on the question regarding accepting special needs children. We both have fears regarding this, and we have never dug deep to find out if these fears are selfish or something real that we aren't equipped to handle. Adam was the first to mention tonight that he would like me to think about changing that answer to "yes". He has realized that his fears are simply selfish, and he wants to help all children in need. It doesn't mean we would get a special needs child, but if we mark "yes", there is a possibility we could. The answer "no" has always come so easy to us since we began our adoption process, and now we are re-thinking that decision. We don't know what the right answer is at this point in time, but we ask that you pray for us while we make this decision in the coming weeks.

I hope this wasn't too confusing our jumbled. We are just excited by this fresh outlook we have on our lives, and we hope to inspire some of you by it! If you have a dream, find out if you can reach it. It doesn't mean your life isn't good now, it just means that you might be able to make it even better. I think the past few years has made us a little afraid to fail, and if we are afraid to fail, we will never know success.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Hiking, singing, farting, and wish listing

We had a great day today. It started off with me and the boys hiking A Mountain in Tempe. The boys were singing songs both up and down the mountain. They kept taking turns where one of them would sing "Do you know when to clap your hands?" and then the other one would clap his hands twice. Later we found out that the song was "If you are happy & you know it, clap your hands." This singing phase is just great.

There was a cross at the top of the mountain. Wes said out of the blue "Mom, everyday at school we always have to learn that Jesus died on the cross." I said, "Oh yeah?" He then threw his arms in the air, and very dramatically said, "But guess what mom? He came back alive!!!! And that happened on the first Easter!" It seems like they are learning a lot of stuff at school in addition to counting and their ABCs.

Later in the evening, Adam and I took them to see the movie "How to train a dragon". They LOVED it. Halfway through the movie, Wes told Adam in a loud whisper "Hey Dad, I want to ask for this movie for Christmas!" That is thinking ahead! As for Cal, well, during a quiet part in the movie he farted really loud. If that weren't funny enough, he then announced in a loud voice, "Hey mom, I just farted!" Funny boys.

Halfway up A Mountain

At the top!

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Sword the Lord

On the way home from preschool today, Wes was singing:

I want to SWORD the Lord
I want to sword the Lord
I want to sword the Lord
I want to sword the Lord

I think he meant "serve", but I didn't have the heart to correct him.


We had a GREAT Easter this year! Sabrina's family was visiting, and so we invited Adam's family over and we had a huge group this year! The morning started out with opening Easter baskets from the Easter bunny. The kids each got a movie, so we had them watch a movie in the morning while the adults cooked a huge lunch (both ham & turkey)! After lunch, we went outside for an egg hunt consisting of about 110 eggs! They found them all really quick! After the egg hunt, we had a water balloon fight followed by swimming. Needless to say, the kids (and Sabrina) took a pretty long nap in the afternoon.

It was such a wonderful day.