Changes, Changes

Well this is going to be a little shocking, but we have some big changes to announce. We will no longer be adopting a little girl from Ethiopia. Before I continue, I must first make a huge apology to Adam's Grandma Jones. She has been waiting for a grand-daughter for so many years. I think the tally is now 10 grandBOYS and ZERO girls. So, while we aren't adopting from Ethiopia Grandma -- there is still some hope that we will be getting a girl.

In February, CBS issued a news report on some corrupt practices and agencies involved with Ethiopia adoptions. Our agency is a great agency, but when talk of corruption starts happening, there is some possibility of the program shutting down. This has happened in so many other countries. Adam and I were a little concerned because we were still high on the list, and we have a long way to go. I began looking at what other options we had in terms of international adoption. There were none. In early March, a new rule was put in place that the embassy must now do a background check on each child being adopted. This is a good thing, but the downside is that it confirms that corruption and bad practices are a problem right now. It also increased the wait time from a few weeks per child to a few months.

In mid-March, another rule change happened. All parents must now travel TWICE to Ethiopia to get their children. Some parents were being told that they had adopted a 4 year old, healthy girl, and when they got o Ethiopia to pick her up -- the child is 8 years old. So again, this confirms that corruption is taking place. Furthermore, this again increased the wait by a few weeks (PER CHILD). When we are 55 on the list -- and the wait increase is a few weeks to months per child -- our wait time just significantly increased into 2011 most likely. (14-16 month wait time) Furthermore, our costs just increased by $5,000 - $7,000 for the second trip.

These new rules are concerning. The program could shut down, and we would lose our money -- or the program could continue running and we would get a beautiful little girl. Part of going through the adoption process is being open and adjusting to change. So while we were disappointed in the new rules, we knew that it was just part of the process. However, once again, we started looking into different options -- just as "back-up plans".

I won't bore you with the details, but we checked into adopting through the state; adopting through a different state; adopting from Korea; or doing a private adoption of an infant. All of these options didn't feel right for us. However, while we were searching -- a "foster care" -- theme kept popping up. We were cautious about pursuing it, but we spoke to some people who are current foster care parents.

The more we looked into it, the more our hearts were in this program. We hadn't really discussed it together -- we were just simply information gathering. One night, Adam told me that he felt led to pursue this option. I admitted that I really wanted to provide care for these children, but I was so afraid that my heart would get broken over and over again. My heart was in it, but my mind was telling me to run. We talked about it for a long time, and we knew that we needed to follow our hearts. Yes, my heart will be broken at times -- but on so many other days, it will be overfilled with love, joy, and laughter. We realized that it isn't so much a "family of five" that we were seeking -- it was that Wes and Cal were getting older, and we wanted another young child in the house.

So this is our big change. We are no longer going to pursue Ethiopia, but instead, we are going to open our home to children in need. If a child becomes available for adoption (which is extremely common), then by all means, we will be ready to adopt him/her. However, our number one goal is simply to provide stability and love to these children when they need it the most. Our decision is hard to explain, but we know it is the right decision.

We have been accepted by an agency, and we start taking our classes on April 8th. These classes will take 10 weeks to complete. In the meantime, we will be paperwork chasing (again), getting physicals, fingerprints, etc. -- to obtain our foster care license. This will take approximately 4 months. We are opening our home to one or two children under the age of 3. There is a need for families who would be willing to take a sibling set that is maybe a few days old and a 1 year old, etc.

Are we scared and nervous? Yeah, a little. However, we really do feel at peace with this decision. We are excited about this journey. I think this is the first time that I'm letting go, raising my arms, and telling God to just lead me.

Adam the Thief

Well we have some big changes that are getting ready to happen -- but you have to wait another week or so before we can go into detail. In the meantime -- watch this funny video of Adam when he worked for Tempe's tv station. I was just de-cluttering my bookshelf when I came across this 1-minute video that is almost 8 years old. Adam is a super, sneaky thief. Enjoy!

Our updated number is . . .

We are #59!!

There were 8 children referred today! One was an older sibling group, and another was a child with malaria (from the waiting list). There were also 3 infant boys where the parents have waited an average of 11 months, and there were two infant girls referred today. The parents for the girls waited approximately 15 1/2 months.

I think once we get down to #30 on the overall list, I will probably ask our agency what our "real" number is. Meaning -- where are we at on the infant girl list. That is the number that really matters when you start getting closer.

Cars

The engine in Adam's Suburban died, and it was going to cost over $4,000 to fix it. We considered just going ahead and fixing it, but it didn't make sense when the Suburban is worth less than this amount. We went through option after option, and we settled on just getting rid of both of our cars and buying two "new to us" cars. I love my Jeep, but later this year we would have to do something with it because it doesn't hold three car seats (with one being an infant/toddler seat). So it seemed most logical to try and get two cars for a little over the price we were paying for my Jeep alone.

Adam got a Nissan Armada. It is slightly smaller than his old Suburban, but since he can put all of the seats down completely flat -- it has more cargo room to hold all of the gear for his shoots. Next up for him -- a semi.

I got a Jeep Commander. It has 3 rows, but the leg room is great for kids rather than adults. I don't feel like I'm driving a bus, but I do have enough room for our growing family. I didn't want to get another Jeep because I loved my old one so much and you couldn't beat the options and Hemi engine that it had. I thought a different Jeep, with less, would make me sad. But . . . it just took one look at another Jeep to realize that I'm just a "jeep" girl - no matter what the options. I would love to have a Hummer, and this is kind of boxy like one. So for now, I pretend it is a Hummer and have nicknamed it the "Hummander". Adam says that one day he will lift the Commander and put big tires on it for me. For now, the money continues to go into the adoption savings account.

The biggest shocker is that they aren't black. Trust me, it was HARD for us, and is STILL hard that we don't own black cars. I mean really, what other color is there? One of the first questions from our close friends and family has been "The car is black, right?" Nope. Our options were a little more limited when we were buying "used". BUT, the car payment for these suckers makes the color easier to take. Around the house, Adam's car is "light black" and my car is a "sandy, tan black". Hey, sometimes there is nothing wrong with living in denial.

Conversations with Wes

On the way home from dinner, the boys decided that one would ride in Adam’s truck, and one would ride in my truck. Here were some funny observations from Wes:

1. Daddy’s truck is 2 days old and is already the “old” truck. Since I bought my truck today, it is now the “new” truck. Poor daddy.
2. Daddy’s truck is Wes’ favorite because it has a DVD player, but my truck is more fun. He just kept saying how much fun it is.
3. Ever since Adam got his truck, and now mine, all Wes can ask about is how fast they go. Just last night, Wes told daddy that a car was beating him when it left the stoplight faster than us. Wes was stressed about the situation, assuming Adam should speed up and beat the car. I couldn’t believe my 4 year old noticed this. Unfortunately, Adam said that Wes has been talking about this recently, so we started assuring him that it is okay if a car drives faster than us. (He has definitely been riding with Adam too long.) So then Wes wanted to know if the police get you when you drive too fast. Yep. Then he wanted to know if you are a bad boy if the police get you. We explained that you are doing something bad when the police get you, but you aren’t a bad boy. He then (referring to the car that had just past us at the stop light) said, “The police are going to get that guy and throw him in jail!” What? Where did he learn that? Although, I can’t really be disappointed if my son thinks you go to jail for speeding. :-)
4. On the way home tonight, Wes was counting. He always counts. All day, all night — always counting. He was counting up to and back down from 1-15. We were counting how many cars were in between Adam and I. He was also figuring out the 20, 30, 40, 50, etc. I just had to tell him a couple, and he picked up the rest. He then started quizzing me like “what is a 7 and a 1”. “seventy one”. I was proud when I could even answer what a “7 then a 1 then a 2 then a 3 then a 4 then a 5 then a 6 then a 7 then a 8 then a 9 was”. He stumped me at “what is a 7 and a an S”. Hmm.
5. We were driving down Camelback, and he said, “Hey mom, is this Camel road?” I was impressed. Then he asked “Camel Road goes to the free way this way and if you turn around, you go to grandma and grandpa’s house.” Impressed again. Then he asked why they named it “camelback road”. I explained about the mountain. So then he started asking where “buzz road” is and where “woody road” is. I was instructed (by Wes) to respond “it is next to something”. After he got bored with that response, he instructed me to say “It is by another road.” I had explained that there was no buzz or woody roads, but obviously that was not the answer he was looking for. We made a turn and then he asked what road we were on. I said, “99th avenue.” He said, “99th avenue? That’s impossible!” I said, “No, I’m serious. This road is called 99th avenue.” He laughed again and said, “That’s impossible mama”.
6. For Valentine's day, my grandma and grandpa Allen always send everyone $10. The boys opened their cards and started yelling that they had received some dollars. We explained that it was a $10 bill. Within 30 seconds, they had plans to go to the Disney Store and buy a new Buzz (one with legs) and another Woody. These were $10 toys, and so that was perfect. The next morning, we are getting ready to leave, and I said, "Don't forget to take your money." Wes said, "I can't believe it!" I asked, "What can't you believe?" Cal then said, "I didn't know that KIDS could get TEN dollars!"
   
7. And the best yet — Wes asked me tonight, “Hey mama, you know why you don’t have a dvd player in your car?” “why” “Because the guy didn’t have any kids.” I said, “That’s really smart Wes, that’s probably why.” (talking about the guy we bought it from) He then asked, “Why doesn’t he have any kids?” I said, “Well, they just don’t have any yet.” I should have left out the word “yet”. And then he asked, “Where does he get his kids?” “Um, I don’t know.” Then he asked, “Where do you get kids?” I changed the subject because I have no idea how to explain that considering he has never even noticed a pregnant woman, I won’t be pregnant, and he is getting is baby sister from the airport (according to him).Suggestions are welcome on this subject!
   

Fun with Grandma & Cousin Sydney

My niece Sydney just LOVES Wes & Cal. She is a smart little girl, and was telling my mom how much she wanted to go to Phoenix -- just a "girls only" trip. :-) Well, how can a grandma turn that request down? The tickets were booked.

They were here for 3 full days, and we rode bicycles, played at parks, went hiking, went to the zoo, and played in the jacuzzi. The kids had a great time with each other. The never fight or leave anyone out. Sydney is already telling my mom that she is coming back in 21 days. :-)

Our Number Is . . .

68!!!

Six children were referred to five different families today. The referral wait times ranged between 9 and 15 months. We are getting closer!